morbid post

.......the other morning i tried to call dave after i finished my paper route. he didn't answer his phone. i tried 15 times. turns out it had fallen out of his pocket & was on vibrate and he didn't hear it but my mind started wandering to all those dark places.....like, what if he fell asleep and ran off the road....and.....what if i had to live the rest of my life without him????

so i started thinking about how the past few months he has made things so much better for me. if something did happen to him i am in much better shape than i would have been 6 months- 2 years ago.

if something had happened to him then, i would have been left with $1000 of monthly minimum payments on credit cards, a $126,000 mortgage, $38,500 of debt outside the house, no life insurance to cover the funeral costs or anything else, and no idea how to make it financially, let alone emotionally.

if something were to happen to him now, he now has a life insurance policy that would cover the funeral costs, the house, and the remaining debt. not to mention that in the past few months, by leading us thru this incredible period of hard work, he has taught me to have a work ethic that i never before had. if i had to support myself financially, i possibly could. i would however, be totally devastated emotionally.

i am thankful for all that, and although this may be a very morbid post, it is the truth. and it's something that all couples should think about. i see a lot of women who would really have trouble in this world. perhaps the life insurance would help out at first but that money would soon be gone and then what....?

well, on a LIGHTER note:
we saw buddy picking the corn by our house tonight. highlight of my year. we went for a walk down the road to try to get sunflower seeds off the sunflower plants but they were all eaten by birds, apparently.

work is really very busy for me again. haven't had dinner together one night this week and probably won't tomorrow either. i have worked late each night. haven't been to the ymca either. trying to find balance in all this....

anyways, gotta go to bed. we'll be up by 1:30 tomorrow. it's the big newspaper day.....