More updates

Since Levi is napping, I'll update some more. We have had a hawk lurking around our house quite a bit lately. I am beginning to wonder if it hears Levi crying and that's what drew it to us as it came around the time he was born. And it seems like it comes closer to the house when Levi is crying. Anyways, just as a precaution, I WILL NOT be leaving Levi unattended outside for quite some time now. The last thing I want is some giant bird snatching him up. In the meantime, the hawk likes to sit on our front porch railing 3 feet from the front door, periodically, and lurk in backyard trees attacking squirrels. I asked Dave to shoot it. He said that's illegal...and since when does Dave think laws apply to him, I wonder? I said well it should be illegal for birds to stalk little babies. If it comes to it, I guess I'll shoot it myself! (I'm kidding...sort of...)

We are so very excited because we're starting a new small group next month with our midwife, her husband, her office manager and her husband, and possibly some other people. Dave is going to lead it. We're not sure yet what we're studying but it should be good. It seems that God has put us all together in life right now for some reason. Maybe soon we'll discover more of that reason.

I'm finding it is quite an adjustment becoming a mother. Not just physically and all that, but emotionally. I had some moments where I felt like I was almost literally suffocating from the weight of responsibility of being a mother. Those times were scary but I'm beyond that now. Thankfully. And now I am struggling somewhat with letting things go. Levi has not been real great with napping or being content to sit / lie down anywhere. When he is awake he pretty much wants to eat or be held and walked around. So, the housework definitely suffers as a result of that. There are days that I can barely get dressed, showered and eat lunch let alone wash dishes and do laundry. Slowly, I've been able to let it all go and just realize that he will not be a tiny baby forever and someday when he'd much rather be outside playing something manly or hanging out with his dad, I'll miss these days. And then that thought that consoles me for a second, makes me want to cry too. I know that too soon I'll be sending him out into the real world as an 18 year old! Ahhhh....But alas, slowly, I'm beginning to feel like myself again and re-enter the real world that is much less emotional.

Given all that, I'm also starting to think about having another baby. haha! I know, I'm a little crazy. But I feel like we've waited so long to start our family, we might as well just have some more children right away. And even though I don't think I want to be like the Duggars and have 19 children (and the odds of that being possible at my age are pretty slim), I kind of agree with their whole philosophy of just letting God decide how many kids they will have. So, we're definitely not "trying" yet but we probably won't really try not to have more children either. I am excited to see what God decides is right for us. I'm pretty much over trying to control everything. I guess what I learned thru the whole pregnancy and birth and postpartum time is that life is beautiful and absolutely amazing when you just let God be in charge!

I've got a lot more piano students this year...I think I'm up to 12 or 14 right now. I'm very excited about that. It will be nice this year to only have 1 thing that I am doing for income rather than 3 like last year (tutoring, nannying and teaching piano). And I'm limiting the lessons to 2 days (well, 1 day and 2 evenings). I just pray that Levi will continue to get a little less fussy as he will be going along with me for some of the daytime lessons.

1 comment:

Erica said...

Sounds like you are adjusting normally! I know that having a baby is hard and a big adjustment! (However, I will say going from 1 to 2 is easy, really it is!)
I think you have suffered a little mild postpartum depression, or "blues" as some would call it. With your hormones out of whack and coming down from all the high of making a baby, it's bound to happen. I would have visions of my baby falling and hitting their heads, and I would cry and then I would hear the baby cry and then I would cry more because I hated that sound and I felt like the crying and lack of sleep and laundry piling up would never end!
but you are so right--this time FLIES by. Molly will be 1 soon and I can barely remember her as an infant. Soak it up, kiss him, snuggle him, smell him, it flies by and before you know it, they are 18 and out of the house!! lol. when you relax, pray ask God for help, peace, patience, whatever it is you need, you will find that peace you need to get through the day.
And the housework? That can wait..seriously!!!
I can't wait to meet him! He looks more and more like Dave! He's just adorable!