remodeling update and life update

over the weekend i picked the paint color for the laundry room. it's a little more gray than this blue color shown above. but this room is kind of my inspiration for our laundry room. i can't wait till the drywall is totally done so i can paint (rod made great strides with it this past weekend but dave wants to "massage" it with his "particular" tendencies which is fine with me and rod...hhhh...but we just have to wait to paint it till dave is done doing that)

this is kind of my inspiration for the great room. minus some of the rustic pieces and modern art and all the pillows. i like the idea of painting the beams in the ceiling white and painting the actual ceiling a different color than the walls that kind  of matches the floor. thinking we will do that. and i want a neutral shag rug (i think) or maybe a woven natural fibers sort of rug, although i don't want it to be too scratchy for levi to play on.

and i'm planning to paint the gun cabinet, coffee table and end table and new table and chairs that mom found for us black. yes! mom found us a great table and chairs for only $275 or something like that. the table can be round or oval with the leaves in it and there are 6 chairs. here's hoping dave wants to help me paint all this stuff. :)

i'd like to purchase a neutral slip cover for our plaid couch but if not, it will still be ok. and i'd like to get 2 smallish accent chairs. i'm over large overstuffed chairs.

i can't believe christmas is 3 days away. the last few years...well, ever since dave and i have been married and he works in the customer service industry and only gets 1 day off christmas doesn't feel like christmas to me anymore. there always seems to be so much going on (working 5 jobs, taking finals, remodeling, traveling, etc, etc.) that it sneaks up on us. we go to church thru the advent season and i am always surprised when they are singing christmas songs. i feel like it's not actually christmas yet.

what little time we have together is spent packing and traveling and then all of a sudden we're in ohio with our families who are celebrating christmas full force and i just feel so....numb... to it all. in past years dave and i haven't exchanged gifts with one another either so it leaves me feeling like the gifts we get for others is just a way of appearing like we celebrate christmas on the outside when we don't actually in our own home. and the last few years we did not even have a tree of our own. this year we do but in a 3 week period of time it has been covered in drywall dust. same with the gifts under it. all in all i end up feeling like christmas is a holiday for everyone else and not for us. like i get to observe people having christmas but not really participate. 
i think that i need to make more of an effort in the future, especially next year and years after, at least for Levi's sake, to prepare mentally for christmas and do fun things leading up to it even if dave can't be around for it. thankfully Levi doesn't really get what christmas is yet. or he'd be pretty bummed i imagine. i did not realize how fortunate i was as a child to not have to travel far for christmas and to have my parents both at home for 2 weeks to celebrate.

on top of that, i've been having struggles with breastfeeding Levi for the past week or so. he's been SCREAMING while eating or eating every hour and just screaming and crying all the time in general. it's like he's back to the way he was the first 7 weeks of his life. i think that it's particularly hard for me to handle because dave has been working so much  and is so uninvolved and then we've had tons of remodeling going on that wakes levi up when he finally does go to sleep, etc.

we thought he might have thrush. yet not so sure. or maybe a growth spurt or teething. i don't know. all in all i don't even want to go out to the store right now let alone drive 3 hours to ohio and attend family christmas gatherings. i'm just praying that he starts feeling better soon or it will be a ROUGH weekend. i just might have a nervous breakdown for christmas. again...yeah. i've been known to do that before ;)

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